Epiphany in Awkwardness

Now I love my friends. They are some of the sweetest and most interesting people that I have been fortunate to meet, but there is a serious problem I have at some point or the other with friends.It may seem that I usually know what to say in most situations but I have been "lucky" to be given the gift of choking in certain situations. What are these? Well, pretty much in situations of death, severe disappointment or worry. What happens? Well, Keeta is silent and then feels a profound sense of awkwardness at not being able to do anything to abate the situation and she chokes. Choking involves not calling the person or if in conversation with them, trying really hard to think of something else. I have always been aware of the problem, as it were, and how this may seem like I'm leaving someone who expects to be present, feeling like I've left them cold turkey. And so with the choking comes the guilt.

But yesterday, I had an epiphany of sorts. My friend told me that she was dealing with a situation which was tentative at best. I listened as she explained to me what it was and realised that it was one of those classic choke causers. But I didn't run, nor did I try to change the subject. I simply said to her that I was going to think of her some more, put some good karma out there for her and say an extra prayer. Usually, I think these statements are futile and don't actually make the person feel better, so I've pretty much been averse to saying them. But yesterday, when I actually used them, my friend really did sound like it gave her a little push to keep her chin up. And when I heard that I remembered that at the end of the day sometimes you don't even need to say or be able to do anything to really have something count. You just have to care. And I guess she probably knew that it may have been awkward for me but was grateful that someone listened and was hoping for the best for her as well. So if you've ever felt like you're about to choke and want to run and hide, try keeping your chin up and things will be a lot easier to swallow.

Peace and luv :)