Being the Bigger Person

Over the last few months, I have experienced numerous changes. One of which has led to the biggest change of all. Though I've been told it doesn't show very much, there is now more Keeta than there was prior to the stressful period (a year and a half ago). 40 lbs more. I bet you thought I meant something else when you read the title? *smile* No, I am simply referring to gaining weight. But the figurative meaning has something to do with this as well.

I gain weight in times of stress, like many other persons I'm sure. Comfort food is a friend, but tomorrow, you wont be feeling too comfortable about it. With the increased weight came increased sensitivity about same. Worse, in an image absorbed society (yes Jamaica is just as bad as the US) I had a lot to come to terms with. I felt very unlike myself for a long time and to make matters worse, the things I tried didn't seem to be helping much.

I remember watching this episode of "What Not to Wear", Stacy advised the makeover recipient to dress for the body she had. More importantly you need to love the body you have, even if it has gotten bigger or smaller and you may not be so happy with the changes. But guess what, I didn't change, just the outside. So I've learnt to appreciate the "bigger" me. So it has made it easier to adjust to the changes I was making.

I rediscovered a fabulous little thing, you have to accept things before changing them. Sounds like a paradox? It isn't. Accepting something as I refer to it here means simply seeing it for what it is. Once you do that, you can move on, make changes, make it better. I know that conventionally "accepting something" means that you come to terms with the way something is and it stays that way. Let's deconstruct what we've been taught for our entire lives. In keeping with that, accepting will mean simply a more intuitive understanding of the situation/thing in question.

So I've accepted the changes (and in the meantime I'm still fab) and I'm making Keeta better. Come on girlies, you can do the same. Let's GO!!!!!

Peace and luv
-Keeta :)

Being the Browning

For most of us who are familiar with Jamaican culture, you are aware of the infamous "Browning". Some kind of seasoning (yes, but that's not what I'm referring to here), some chocolate creation (nope), simply the mixed girl.



In Jamaica there are people who go to all kinds of drastic means to become the so-called fabulous browning. This has led to not only academics having a field day hypothesizing and theorizing about the motivations behind this, but singers and DJs enshrining the browning in the lyrics of dancehall and reggae.

Now I have always wondered about this. Why the fuss? I am but a product of one whole heap a mix up. Being this browning brought with it unwanted attention (at times very creepy) from the opposite sex, misconceptions about my class/status and personality from others. Why though? Darker girls are just as fascinating. But now I have grown to appreciate the other aspects of my mix-up self and the accompanying contradictions that go with it.

A girl who:

1. Loves being neat to the point of obsessive compulsion but who hates to clean.

2. Is extroverted about almost everything not directly related to herself but who is shy and modest at times just the same.

3. Is loud and gaudy with my likes of overly bright colours worse when paired with animal prints but loves clean lines and the style of Grace Kelly.

4. Is a little raunchy like Lil Kim (in her rap days) but in the same breath a subtler sexy like Estelle.

5. Is a workaholic who procrastinates.

6. The girly-girl (pink, puffs and cute) but sports, dirt and grit get me going sometimes too.

And I could go on. But here's the thing with my contradictions, they fit perfectly in the mix up shell of the Browning's body. And if it's one thing I love (as much as I may have a burning need for meticulous order) it's not being put into the proverbial box. So now instead of wishing "Lord, couldnt this browning thing just go away?" I have decided to embrace all that comes with it. Best part I am a legendary part (if you will, Lol) of island culture. Who wouldn't love that?

So to all my Brownings, BIG UP YUHSELF! You're special too.

-Peace & Love,

Keeta :)

ABCs of the Browning

I saw one of these random question things on my friend's blog but it was organized by alphabet and I thought "Hmmm.....I like the arrangement. I think I'll do it". So below find the ABCs of the Browning. And after you read copy and paste your own answers in a comment. I would love to get a peek into my readers' minds as well. Enjoy!

A
- Available: technically, no (won't say a word more about it *wink)
- Age: 22 years
- Annoyance: bad grammar
- Animal: cat (meow)
B
- Beer: No. Cocktail- "Brown Skin Gyal" @ East Japanese Restaurant
- Birthdays: September 19 1986
- Best Friend: Pig, Morgy, Kodi, Kristen
- Blind or Deaf: Neither (thank God).
- Best weather: Sunny days. Even better on Sunday mornings in Mandeville :)
- Been in Love: Mmhmm. It's amazing
- Believe in Magic?: Yes. @ times I float
- Believe in Santa: anyone who gives me PRESENTS!! Lol

C
- Candy: Ferrero Rocher.......Mmmmmmm.
- Color: PINK PINK PINK PINK PINK PINK!!!!!!!
- Chocolate/vanilla: CHOCOLATE!
- Chinese/Mexican Food: Neither. Mommy's cooking
- Cake or pie: Both. I heart a good chocolate/cheesecake tho
- Continent to visit: Europe and Australia
- Cheese: Gimme that cheddar. Lol. Oh yeh and goat cheese (yum)

D

- Day or Night: Depends on who I'm with :)
- Dancing in the rain: Yuh want me catch cold? Lol

E
- Eyes: Hershey Brown
- Ever failed a class: Never. Maybe a test some time in the very distant past.

F
- First thoughts waking up: Is the cable working? Why won't that turtle keep quiet?
- Food: Sushi, pizza, anything with cheese, chocolate, PORK!

G
- Greatest fear: Roaches. Phobia not fear
- Goals: A cosmopolitan/ hippie-on-the-weekend lifestyle with my dark-skinned Adonis husband. Lol. JK. Successful, peaceful life with family and friends close by.
- Gum: Bubblicious Original. Like it for as long as the flavour lasts.
- Get along with your parents: Yep

H
- Hair Color: Chestnut gold
- Height: 5"7
- Happy: Usually
- Holiday: Christmas
- How do you want to die: In my sleep when I'm 90 with my hubby beside me

I
- Ice Cream: Chocolate or mocha
- Instrument: The pen/keyboard. My words are my music

J
- Jewelry: Big and bold with lots of colours. Love my gold heart pendant I received for my 12th birthday
- Job: A whole bunch right now. I guess researcher more than anything.Lol

K
- Kids: Nope
- Kickboxing or karate: Thinking of trying kick-boxing
- Keep a journal: Yep. Sporadic with the entries though.

L
- Love: the best feeling.
- Laughed so hard you cried: Of course. Esp. when I'm around Morgy, Kodak and Nella

M
- Milk flavor: Almond
- Movies: Chick flicks
- Motion sickness: Nope
- McD’s or BK: Neither.

N
- Number: 19

O
- One wish: To see Mommy get the stuff she wants.

P
- Pepsi/Coke: Neither. Angostura Lemon/Lime Bitters
- Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni, bacon and extra cheese

Q
- Question: When?

R
- Reality T.V.: ANTM, HGTV Design Star, any fashion-based reality shows and almost anything MTV produces
- Radio Station: Fame 95
- Roll your tongue in a circle: Mmhmm
- Ring size: 7.5-8

S
- Song: Marvin Gaye "I want you" (*grin*)
- Shoe size: 10
- Salad Dressing: Blue cheese
- Sushi: Tuna at the Mayfair.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Both. Strawberries with chocolate definitely :)

T
- Tattoos: Panda (in the near future)
- Time for bed: Lately anytime after 9. It varies

U
- Unpredictable: changes

V
- Vacation spot(s): Treasure Beach

W
- Weakness: Anything chocolate and Super Mario
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you? Hmmmm.........all of them have a little of me
- Worst feeling: Being worried
- Worst Weather: Unbearable heat.

X
- X-Rays: A lot. Cant even remember all the codes/names of them. Lol

Y
- Year it is now: 2009 baby!
- Yellow: Is nice. PINK is better :)

Z
- Zoo animal: Iguana. They are the nicest lizards.

Sending some Birthday love

"Thoughts From a Fabulous Mind" sending a special shoutout to one of my
#1 readers on her birthday.
Peace & Luv-Keeta :)

Doing Whatever When You Feel Like it

I was thinking to myself the other day that I have been really poor about updating my blog lately. And it's not that I don't love it but lately I've been about instant gratification and let me explain why.

For the past 8 months I have been doing a concentrated amount of work (in addition to the million other things I do) on my research paper for my Masters. Having finally reached a fabulous bright and sunny corner on that road, I have decided to take it easier and if I don't feel like doing something, I won't. Not forever of course *smile* just for a little while so I can remember what it's like to live to your own whim and fancy with the simplest of things. Over the past week I have been doing just that. Of course, in order to do this successfully you will need to make certain allowances for time, work, assignments so that you don't run into a hole with deadlines and such. But it will be worth it.

Give yourself all the things you want for a while and enjoy the feeling. Comfort, joy, excitement, whatever. And don't necessarily mean anything material either. Instead of running to do morning chores on the weekend take the time to sit and play Pacman on your phone and not feel guilty. Remember there's nothing wrong with self-indulgence. But as with all things and more importantly indulgence once some moderation is exercised you"ll be fine.

The only royalty you will ever need to cater to is yourself so spoil yourself and live like the queen you are, if only for a few days.

Peace and Luv
-Keeta

Putting your quirks to work

I had an interesting conversation with my friend about my penchant for the cute, fluffy and anything having to do with Winnie-The-Pooh. The conversation had to do with the fact that she had been struggling to finish her Bachelor's for a couple years because at times she did not have the necessary focus or drive to push. she continued saying that she was proud of how I stuck to my goals and finally completed my Masters. I was flattered but I knew all of those feelings she expressed to me. I gave her some advice (related to my Pooh obsession) that I thought I could share.

We all have quirks. Little things we do or like that are unique to just us (Mine as I noted earlier was anything having to do with Pooh bear, anything sickeningly cute or pink) So how does one do this?

• Well for the college student who may have tonnes of reading to do, especially for a course that is not in the least bit fun or inspiring- if stickers are your thing then put some pretty on that book. Another trick is to use a nice pen or a new highlighter. We all like nice new things. And get a pencil/pen/higlighter that's in your favourite colour.
• If you are someone who can do a bit of multi-tasking while studying/reading make sure to load some songs that you simply cannot get enough of on to your MP3 player and have a good listen while you do some of your reading.
• Snacks are always a welcome addition, keep a bit of the things you like to munch on around you studying is more fun. Even if it is Kid Cuisine cause you love the little mini-pizzas (Lol)

Focus is sometimes a scarce commodity but making the workspace one that you look forward to is a NECESSITY!!!! Make it reflect you. If you like candles light candles. Wear your Hello Kitty socks so that you feel comfortable and you have that extra happy, thus you would have given yourself that energy to get the work done. These are but a few suggestions but essentially anything you would do to make your space more you do that for your workspace. The average college student does most of his/her work outside of the lecture room and on his/her own so you should at least enjoy it.

If you know there are little things that people may laugh at or think you're crazy for, let them laugh. You are being productive and getting stuff done and at the end of the day noone can argue with that :) plus what better way to appreciate and pay homage to your God-given quirks and whims.

Peace & Luv
Keeta

Cutting off My Identity

Now I know the title of this one may cause you to wonder what is she talking about? Nothing naughty by the way, in case you were wondering (and if you were hoping for naughty well I apologize) Before I get into what I mean? I'll ask you a question? What is it that defines you? Have the answer? Good (if you don't, not to worry, just give it some more thought) Now, suppose you didn't have that anymore, what would you do? How would you feel? If it was a part of your physical appearance, does it connect in someway to your personality?

Now that you've thought on that I will tell you what I am talking about. For years I had long hair. Pretty much I defined myself by my hair. And then I decided to cut off. Almost all of it. I must admit that there were some influences connnected to my Masters research paper that also influenced the decision. How so you may ask? Well in Jamaica, I am often judged (overly so) by how I look. Browning with long hair i.e. people immediately think uptown priss. So I chopped it off, followed by not wearing any makeup at all in the days anymore. Not only have I had to adjust the morning routine to get ready and how I self-style my hair, but I have also adjusted how preoccupied I am about outward appearances because where I'll be collecting data people would be quick to assume. So while I can't do much about my skintone. I adjusted the Keeta that everyone was used to. This was my decision. My supervisor never said you need to do this, but I must admit I'm sure the change didn't hurt either. So even though its just hair, I have developed a new identity of sorts. I'm a little more mellow and for now taking a nice break from the super girly-girl I have always been. But not for too long. It's who I am deep down but right now, since the focus needs to be more serious, I decided to cut off my identity *grin*. Revamping is always a good idea anyway. Now I can evolve as it grows back. Who wouldn't love a fresh start like that?

Peace & Luv
-Keeta :)