Starting to Figure Out the Truth

This post is a bit more topical than what I usually write about. I felt the need to discuss this so I decided to do it here.

Two months ago I began this journey, otherwise known as a Masters Research Paper, and along the way I noticed that there are a number of things which were happening in the quest to uncover the truth (sounds like a film epic) that I thought I should put out there.

I am studying informal settlements (aka squatting) and how it is that the persons cope with the various challenges they face as a result of squatting. Now I am aware that I could get more fundamental than that, and look at why it is these persons decided that living on the lower banks or even in the bed of a river was an acceptable risk, but for now I want to just know how it is they cope. Somehow intuition has led me to take a reverse approach to this.

On visiting the community I was studying, let's call it One Bridge, the first thing that hit me was this house that had slid into the river bed. An almost complete structure, someone's home. Gone. And don't be fooled, until a few years ago I assumed that informal settlements were only zinc and board structures. But people actually use more permanent building materials such as concrete, blocks and steel. That visit was in the final year of my undergraduate programme but it has stuck with me ever since.

These people who live here are just as much a part of normal life as the next person. Persons got to work, they send their children to school, they go to the market but still imagine what it must be like to sleep at night and wake up to the sound of torrential rain above your head. For some only the concern of a small leak might be the next thought, but for One Bridge residents the sneaking suspicion that you are about to be engulfed in dirty water and the debris it carries with it is all that consumes your mind.

This problem is not new to Jamaica. Squatting has been taking place for years. It has also been ignored for years. Hence, I was slightly amused at the hypocritical shock and amazement that ensued at the Minister of Housing's announcement that almost 1/3 of our population are informal settlers. That hypocritical shock is however the typical reaction to announcements regarding a lot of our problems. Why? Because, very often, too often in fact, we ignore, sit and wait and attack symptoms of problems and not the more fundamental issues behind them.

So here I am, studying this issue and in trying to organize my thoughts I have decided that I should put what is in my head all out there. I mean at the end of the day, each step in what started as just a research paper is now a much more than that.........I'm just trying to figure out the truth.

Keep thinking.
-Nakeeta

Titbits on Venting for the Unavoidable Drama of Daily Life

Like any thing that has gathered too much air or extra baggage, so is our emotional threshold. Lately, I have gained new appreciation for the need to vent and by extension vegetate (I will explain what I mean by that in a minute). It has also occurred to me in recent times, how difficult it is to extract yourself from the midst of drama short of being a hermit. Well, sans the details, I will explain how it is that I have subtracted that drama and sought to vent and vegetate thus preserving and (perhaps increasing) my sanity.

Now, for any 20-something drama seems to be almost inevitable. And this could mean just about anything. Drama for me is any unnecessary, unplanned and unwelcome event that seeks to distract from, distress and destroy that peace-of-mind I have come to cherish so much. And like most other things in life, drama also has varying levels. The drama I am speaking of particularly, is any looming thing, whether personal or professional that you have to make an even more concerted effort than usual to cope with, get over or get rid off.

But not to worry girlies, I come bearing gifts or hopefully, as I think of it, wisdom. The last 4 months of my life have seen quite its fair share of drama. And through trial and error (lots I might add) I have finally learnt exactly what it is you need to do to deal:

MAINTAINING SANITY WHEN THINGS AREN'T SO BAD
1. Vegetate. This simply means that for about 2-3 hours you are going to do something which requires little or no mental energy and will not cause you to get worked up or think about whatever it is that is bothering you. A very simple one to resort to is for those of us girls who are little on the geek side, video games will more than accomplish that for you. And better yet, mindless television (with the abundance of reality shows on tv now, you should have no problems there). My personal favourite is Spongebob.

2. Write. Write how you feel. Sound the words out in your head as you write them. With each word a little bit of your peace-of-mind of will return.

3. Colour. Now this one is a personal favourite. I suggested it to my doctor 3 years ago and she completely agreed wih me. Colouring books are not just for kids anymore. Colour outside the lines; colour things in shades they would never be in real life (dolphins might actaully look nicer in pink. *smile*) And who cares what persons might think if you decide to walk around with 2 cartoon colouring pages and a ziploc bag of Crayolas. You are doing this for yourself!!!


IF AT ABSOLUTE BREAKING POINT
1. Bawl. No not cry, you heard me right. BAWL! And the worse the issue, the bigger the bawl. Why am I encouraging crying you ask? Because this is the easiest method to get rid of baggage. Hence the need to insert it in most if not all movies aimed at a female demographic. Now this step along with a few others I will mention usually work in conjunction with something else. Cry with something you like very much, whether your favourite CD playing, sitcom on television or hugging a ratty stuffed animal. Though you may not want to be around other people there is no reason you should be without an essential favourite thing. Now wash your face and pull your chin up. Time to move on!!

2. Scream. That scream in the pillow trick is no joke. It does actually work. Really. And better yet, screaming without the pillow is just as fruitful (just make sure you will be the only one to hear it). Now a word of caution, scream at intervals so that you won't suffer from a horrible headache after and the results will be just as rewarding.

3. Stop caring. Now before you jump to conclusions, what I mean by this is that you need to not pay attention to all the other things that are holding you back. Just let whatever is be that way and you deal with your thing.

4. Find your guru and talk. Now this may just be exactly what you need especially if it's some encouragement and reassuring will help you get through the drama. Tell it all to that one person and take solace in a spare pair of shoulders for that moment. (NOTE: this is also good for when you're not at breaking point as well).

The most important way to cope however, is to develop your own quirks. My suggestions may work yes (and my lists are by no means exhaustive) but I'm sure you have things that you do that may seem weird or funny but make you feel better or even perfect.. Love those things. And at the end of the day, remember nothing else that you're doing will ever work as well as you planned it to, if at the core of it all YOU are not feeling FABULOUS!!

Peace & luv girlies
-Keeta :)

Voting for the Earth

Hi everyone. On March 28, 2009 I'm asking all of my fabulous readers to support the World Wildlife Funds Earth Hour. This initiative is to encourage persons all across the world to switch their lights off between 8:30 and 9:30 p.m. to show their support for the fight against global warming.

So be Fabulous and support a cause which is supporting the world which gives us life.

Peace and luv :)
-Keeta

Epiphany in Awkwardness

Now I love my friends. They are some of the sweetest and most interesting people that I have been fortunate to meet, but there is a serious problem I have at some point or the other with friends.It may seem that I usually know what to say in most situations but I have been "lucky" to be given the gift of choking in certain situations. What are these? Well, pretty much in situations of death, severe disappointment or worry. What happens? Well, Keeta is silent and then feels a profound sense of awkwardness at not being able to do anything to abate the situation and she chokes. Choking involves not calling the person or if in conversation with them, trying really hard to think of something else. I have always been aware of the problem, as it were, and how this may seem like I'm leaving someone who expects to be present, feeling like I've left them cold turkey. And so with the choking comes the guilt.

But yesterday, I had an epiphany of sorts. My friend told me that she was dealing with a situation which was tentative at best. I listened as she explained to me what it was and realised that it was one of those classic choke causers. But I didn't run, nor did I try to change the subject. I simply said to her that I was going to think of her some more, put some good karma out there for her and say an extra prayer. Usually, I think these statements are futile and don't actually make the person feel better, so I've pretty much been averse to saying them. But yesterday, when I actually used them, my friend really did sound like it gave her a little push to keep her chin up. And when I heard that I remembered that at the end of the day sometimes you don't even need to say or be able to do anything to really have something count. You just have to care. And I guess she probably knew that it may have been awkward for me but was grateful that someone listened and was hoping for the best for her as well. So if you've ever felt like you're about to choke and want to run and hide, try keeping your chin up and things will be a lot easier to swallow.

Peace and luv :)

Choosing Battles and Honey

Have you ever noticed changes in yourself? Well recently I have noticed a few changes of my own. Being a fairly, stubborn and usually very strong-willed person, I don't let things go to easily in a fight when I know I'm on the right side of the chalk line. Or worse when I have to do something that is simply for your own piece of mind that others may not agree with. But lately, the Keeta has discovered a simpler way of getting her way. Don't get me wrong if you need to stand your ground with something, don't back down. Worse if it is something very important. However, I have learnt the value of not always trying to explain something to persons who are dogmatic at best, obdurate at worst. And more importantly the value of honey. The honey I speak of is not nature's confection, but the figurative one.

Kimora Lee Simmons, in her book "Fabulosity", passed on some very valuable information to yours truly- 'You catch more flies with honey than vinegar". Sounds simple right? Well not to me at first and I'll tell you why. I've heard that before but when I heard it from her, someone who is assertive, strong and unapologetic for it, I decided to believe. And I have learnt the reasoning that goes with it. The last two weeks, I have been in situations where persons whom I have had interactions with whether work-related or otherwise have said things or held points-of-view that I haven't agreed with. So I took a minute, assessed whether or not to argue and 9 times out of 10 realised that it really wasn't worth it. On top of that, dropped in a smile and 9 times out of 10 I got my way anyway. Go figure.

Moral of the story is, the sticky sweetness almost always works better. So be sweet to yourself and choose your battles ;)

The Mystery of Inspiration

I was having a conversation today with someone whose opinion I truly value (one of my role models so to speak). We were discussing this blog somewhat and she asked me how often I made a post and I responded that I write when I am inspired. And of course, I thought back to the conversation (as I usually do with conversations which last longer than a few minutes) and I thought about inspiration.

Inspiration is said by many to be a divine gift, an epiphany of sorts. Many people are fully in tune with what inspires them. The various things or activities which cause them to produce works of varying types. Now while I may be able to say what in particular had inspired me to do something at a given time, I have realized that those same things may not exactly work at another again in the same way.

Then there is the mystery of what it is we may to be inspired to do. Or in my case, for example, the simple fact that I wait to be inspired to write which simply means inspiration (which if we operate on the premise that inspiration is a gift) must come for me to further develop my other gift- the writing. A little convoluted though it may seem, it got me thinking how much other persons at this stage of their life (20-something) have lost their inspiration or simply dont feel like they have any, because they may have ended up like a stunted stalagmite unable to receive more minerals from the larger structure above or they may have been wooed by flames a moth should otherwise ignore.

Why wait till you're 30, 40 or older to really be inspired to do more with you? Have you ever really sat and wondered if you are giving yourself the attention you deserve by finding that inspiration to find out more about you? And then is it really life and all it offers that you're searching for or the inspiration to really get up and chase it? Inspiration when you think about it can mean so many different things but really, like many other things in life, it is one of those things or gifts that when you get it you know it really only was meant for you.

The Sometimes Dreaded Valentine's Day

One of the things I have always appreciated in my life is the different perspectives the people around me have on almost everything. With February just starting, my mind ran on one of these persons and the take she had on Valentine's Day a couple years ago. She wore full black and reproached (jokingly, I should add) those of us who while we may not have been wearing red, decided to look extra cute on the day in an adorable powder blue dress with white peep-toe flats. I thought back to this and wondered, what really is the deal with Valentine's Day (and I don't mean the origins)? Most of the people who I know would rather wear full black and lament that there is nothing to get all excited about.

But indulge me for a second. Let's think about it from the other side. Now I am not saying you need to look like one of those GM tomatoes they sell in the supermarket and wear full red (or better yet PINK *wink*) nor am I saying that you have to have a special guy (or girl. I don't judge) to celebrate a day that has been branded in our minds by way of cupid, hearts, flowers and teddy bears. However.........I am all about deconstructing and reinterpreting those same things that society uses to define us in one way or the other.

Did you ever make Valentine cards for your parents or friends when you were little? If not don't worry, you'll know why I asked in a minute. Children do things just to show persons that they are loved (and there is very little if any romance happening at that stage). So I decided that even though Valentine's Day is traditionally for lovers *chuckle* I would make it into something that really meant something to me. So what did I do? In a bout of silly, I went on one knee and asked one of my best friends to be my Valentine. She nearly collapsed laughing. We decided that we would be extra nice to each other for this special day. Just something out of the ordinary. Plus, I decided that it had been a while since I had done something for my mother, who lately has been under a bit of stress from work, so I would do a special care package to send home to her as well. So what better way to take a day, designed for lovers (perhaps by Cupid, a saint or the capitalists in order to make money) and make it about the people who really count.

So for those of you who may be making a conscious effort to wear black and be grim, and reproach those of us who find any excuse to be cutesy and wear pink (yes I mean myself), forget being consciously against Valentine's Day and use it as that perfect opportunity to show somebody (who you know might need a pick-me-up) that they are extra special. It'll be so worth the energy you spend, that you may not even remember to wear black ;)