Doing Whatever When You Feel Like it

I was thinking to myself the other day that I have been really poor about updating my blog lately. And it's not that I don't love it but lately I've been about instant gratification and let me explain why.

For the past 8 months I have been doing a concentrated amount of work (in addition to the million other things I do) on my research paper for my Masters. Having finally reached a fabulous bright and sunny corner on that road, I have decided to take it easier and if I don't feel like doing something, I won't. Not forever of course *smile* just for a little while so I can remember what it's like to live to your own whim and fancy with the simplest of things. Over the past week I have been doing just that. Of course, in order to do this successfully you will need to make certain allowances for time, work, assignments so that you don't run into a hole with deadlines and such. But it will be worth it.

Give yourself all the things you want for a while and enjoy the feeling. Comfort, joy, excitement, whatever. And don't necessarily mean anything material either. Instead of running to do morning chores on the weekend take the time to sit and play Pacman on your phone and not feel guilty. Remember there's nothing wrong with self-indulgence. But as with all things and more importantly indulgence once some moderation is exercised you"ll be fine.

The only royalty you will ever need to cater to is yourself so spoil yourself and live like the queen you are, if only for a few days.

Peace and Luv
-Keeta

Putting your quirks to work

I had an interesting conversation with my friend about my penchant for the cute, fluffy and anything having to do with Winnie-The-Pooh. The conversation had to do with the fact that she had been struggling to finish her Bachelor's for a couple years because at times she did not have the necessary focus or drive to push. she continued saying that she was proud of how I stuck to my goals and finally completed my Masters. I was flattered but I knew all of those feelings she expressed to me. I gave her some advice (related to my Pooh obsession) that I thought I could share.

We all have quirks. Little things we do or like that are unique to just us (Mine as I noted earlier was anything having to do with Pooh bear, anything sickeningly cute or pink) So how does one do this?

• Well for the college student who may have tonnes of reading to do, especially for a course that is not in the least bit fun or inspiring- if stickers are your thing then put some pretty on that book. Another trick is to use a nice pen or a new highlighter. We all like nice new things. And get a pencil/pen/higlighter that's in your favourite colour.
• If you are someone who can do a bit of multi-tasking while studying/reading make sure to load some songs that you simply cannot get enough of on to your MP3 player and have a good listen while you do some of your reading.
• Snacks are always a welcome addition, keep a bit of the things you like to munch on around you studying is more fun. Even if it is Kid Cuisine cause you love the little mini-pizzas (Lol)

Focus is sometimes a scarce commodity but making the workspace one that you look forward to is a NECESSITY!!!! Make it reflect you. If you like candles light candles. Wear your Hello Kitty socks so that you feel comfortable and you have that extra happy, thus you would have given yourself that energy to get the work done. These are but a few suggestions but essentially anything you would do to make your space more you do that for your workspace. The average college student does most of his/her work outside of the lecture room and on his/her own so you should at least enjoy it.

If you know there are little things that people may laugh at or think you're crazy for, let them laugh. You are being productive and getting stuff done and at the end of the day noone can argue with that :) plus what better way to appreciate and pay homage to your God-given quirks and whims.

Peace & Luv
Keeta

Cutting off My Identity

Now I know the title of this one may cause you to wonder what is she talking about? Nothing naughty by the way, in case you were wondering (and if you were hoping for naughty well I apologize) Before I get into what I mean? I'll ask you a question? What is it that defines you? Have the answer? Good (if you don't, not to worry, just give it some more thought) Now, suppose you didn't have that anymore, what would you do? How would you feel? If it was a part of your physical appearance, does it connect in someway to your personality?

Now that you've thought on that I will tell you what I am talking about. For years I had long hair. Pretty much I defined myself by my hair. And then I decided to cut off. Almost all of it. I must admit that there were some influences connnected to my Masters research paper that also influenced the decision. How so you may ask? Well in Jamaica, I am often judged (overly so) by how I look. Browning with long hair i.e. people immediately think uptown priss. So I chopped it off, followed by not wearing any makeup at all in the days anymore. Not only have I had to adjust the morning routine to get ready and how I self-style my hair, but I have also adjusted how preoccupied I am about outward appearances because where I'll be collecting data people would be quick to assume. So while I can't do much about my skintone. I adjusted the Keeta that everyone was used to. This was my decision. My supervisor never said you need to do this, but I must admit I'm sure the change didn't hurt either. So even though its just hair, I have developed a new identity of sorts. I'm a little more mellow and for now taking a nice break from the super girly-girl I have always been. But not for too long. It's who I am deep down but right now, since the focus needs to be more serious, I decided to cut off my identity *grin*. Revamping is always a good idea anyway. Now I can evolve as it grows back. Who wouldn't love a fresh start like that?

Peace & Luv
-Keeta :)

Lacking agency?

This too was another post on my other former blog. It's more topical than the other things I write about but I hope you'll appreciate it just the same.

I had a very interesting conversation with someone who is an expert of sorts in Disaster Studies. I sought to get his take on the situation in One Bridge and how the residents cope. What I got however, was advice to not study this because there is nothing that persons residing in informal settlements can do to cope. I was surprised by his reaction. My surprise continued when he also advised me not to speak to the residents but to approach the issue from purely an administration perspective i.e. find out why the government does nothing about the issue of informal settlements even though they are aware of the problem and the corresponding effects.
I politely listened. I was left momentarily wondering what is the real issue here? Mark you what I just noted is only a snippet of the "advice"he gave me. In short I was told I was doing nothing that hadn't been done already. But if that really is the case, why then is there no literature or formal discourse on how informal settlers cope with the issues associated with their status?

I was actually surprised at his notion that all of these persons lack agency in their situation and just sat and allowed things to happen to them. It is common knowledge that Jamaicans never sit and just let thing happen to them. They adapt and invent. So in a way, a wise person whose advice I consult many times (who has done a significant amount of work in related areas) held true. Someone needs to look at the problem from the opposite end of the spectrum. We are too quick to write persons off and not understand issues from the perspective of the actual people they affect. And even if it has been asked, it has been barely recorded in a manner which would satisfy the need for such information.

Every story has two sides. Having one, now I will search for the other.

Keep thinking
-Nakeeta

Life in SIMulation

Over the past week, I have spent countless hours playing my newest acquisition Sims 3. Having always heard friends speak of how addictive the game was, naturally, with very peaked interest, when I was offered a copy I jumped at it.

Experts may psychoanalyse the extreme interest in creating and controlling almost every aspect of a person's life, down to how they flirt with a romantic interest. But save for my sub-surface control issues (which I have already acknowledged earlier in life) there is something that has been on my mind. What if life were like the Sims?

Cheat codes for free real estate, endless money and perfect moods. Simulated perfection. Pun intended. The game took on a new life for me after discovering these cheats.
While I acknowledge my friend's rebuffing of my use of cheats (it was in fact her reaction that inspired this piece), I thought it humorous nevertheless that she was telling me this while her Sim was a professional thief. She chided me and said she would work hard at her career (lol) and get rich the "normal"way not by cheat codes. The irony.

So what is it I want to philosphize about regarding this game? In the daily grind of things, perhaps being able to plan my life as I see it via Sims (cheat codes and all) will not only allow for endless hours of stress-relief and fun, but allow for some very helpful visualization. Life as I would like iy, or maybe have dreamed it. The successful woman-mother, career woman, sexy wife or even the lonely, hopeless romantic thief who loves to go fishing, searching for a mate. And at least if I ever wonder about the taboo things in life, I have a ready avenue through my life in simulation.

Peace & luv girlies
-Keeta :)

Starting to Figure Out the Truth

This post is a bit more topical than what I usually write about. I felt the need to discuss this so I decided to do it here.

Two months ago I began this journey, otherwise known as a Masters Research Paper, and along the way I noticed that there are a number of things which were happening in the quest to uncover the truth (sounds like a film epic) that I thought I should put out there.

I am studying informal settlements (aka squatting) and how it is that the persons cope with the various challenges they face as a result of squatting. Now I am aware that I could get more fundamental than that, and look at why it is these persons decided that living on the lower banks or even in the bed of a river was an acceptable risk, but for now I want to just know how it is they cope. Somehow intuition has led me to take a reverse approach to this.

On visiting the community I was studying, let's call it One Bridge, the first thing that hit me was this house that had slid into the river bed. An almost complete structure, someone's home. Gone. And don't be fooled, until a few years ago I assumed that informal settlements were only zinc and board structures. But people actually use more permanent building materials such as concrete, blocks and steel. That visit was in the final year of my undergraduate programme but it has stuck with me ever since.

These people who live here are just as much a part of normal life as the next person. Persons got to work, they send their children to school, they go to the market but still imagine what it must be like to sleep at night and wake up to the sound of torrential rain above your head. For some only the concern of a small leak might be the next thought, but for One Bridge residents the sneaking suspicion that you are about to be engulfed in dirty water and the debris it carries with it is all that consumes your mind.

This problem is not new to Jamaica. Squatting has been taking place for years. It has also been ignored for years. Hence, I was slightly amused at the hypocritical shock and amazement that ensued at the Minister of Housing's announcement that almost 1/3 of our population are informal settlers. That hypocritical shock is however the typical reaction to announcements regarding a lot of our problems. Why? Because, very often, too often in fact, we ignore, sit and wait and attack symptoms of problems and not the more fundamental issues behind them.

So here I am, studying this issue and in trying to organize my thoughts I have decided that I should put what is in my head all out there. I mean at the end of the day, each step in what started as just a research paper is now a much more than that.........I'm just trying to figure out the truth.

Keep thinking.
-Nakeeta

Titbits on Venting for the Unavoidable Drama of Daily Life

Like any thing that has gathered too much air or extra baggage, so is our emotional threshold. Lately, I have gained new appreciation for the need to vent and by extension vegetate (I will explain what I mean by that in a minute). It has also occurred to me in recent times, how difficult it is to extract yourself from the midst of drama short of being a hermit. Well, sans the details, I will explain how it is that I have subtracted that drama and sought to vent and vegetate thus preserving and (perhaps increasing) my sanity.

Now, for any 20-something drama seems to be almost inevitable. And this could mean just about anything. Drama for me is any unnecessary, unplanned and unwelcome event that seeks to distract from, distress and destroy that peace-of-mind I have come to cherish so much. And like most other things in life, drama also has varying levels. The drama I am speaking of particularly, is any looming thing, whether personal or professional that you have to make an even more concerted effort than usual to cope with, get over or get rid off.

But not to worry girlies, I come bearing gifts or hopefully, as I think of it, wisdom. The last 4 months of my life have seen quite its fair share of drama. And through trial and error (lots I might add) I have finally learnt exactly what it is you need to do to deal:

MAINTAINING SANITY WHEN THINGS AREN'T SO BAD
1. Vegetate. This simply means that for about 2-3 hours you are going to do something which requires little or no mental energy and will not cause you to get worked up or think about whatever it is that is bothering you. A very simple one to resort to is for those of us girls who are little on the geek side, video games will more than accomplish that for you. And better yet, mindless television (with the abundance of reality shows on tv now, you should have no problems there). My personal favourite is Spongebob.

2. Write. Write how you feel. Sound the words out in your head as you write them. With each word a little bit of your peace-of-mind of will return.

3. Colour. Now this one is a personal favourite. I suggested it to my doctor 3 years ago and she completely agreed wih me. Colouring books are not just for kids anymore. Colour outside the lines; colour things in shades they would never be in real life (dolphins might actaully look nicer in pink. *smile*) And who cares what persons might think if you decide to walk around with 2 cartoon colouring pages and a ziploc bag of Crayolas. You are doing this for yourself!!!


IF AT ABSOLUTE BREAKING POINT
1. Bawl. No not cry, you heard me right. BAWL! And the worse the issue, the bigger the bawl. Why am I encouraging crying you ask? Because this is the easiest method to get rid of baggage. Hence the need to insert it in most if not all movies aimed at a female demographic. Now this step along with a few others I will mention usually work in conjunction with something else. Cry with something you like very much, whether your favourite CD playing, sitcom on television or hugging a ratty stuffed animal. Though you may not want to be around other people there is no reason you should be without an essential favourite thing. Now wash your face and pull your chin up. Time to move on!!

2. Scream. That scream in the pillow trick is no joke. It does actually work. Really. And better yet, screaming without the pillow is just as fruitful (just make sure you will be the only one to hear it). Now a word of caution, scream at intervals so that you won't suffer from a horrible headache after and the results will be just as rewarding.

3. Stop caring. Now before you jump to conclusions, what I mean by this is that you need to not pay attention to all the other things that are holding you back. Just let whatever is be that way and you deal with your thing.

4. Find your guru and talk. Now this may just be exactly what you need especially if it's some encouragement and reassuring will help you get through the drama. Tell it all to that one person and take solace in a spare pair of shoulders for that moment. (NOTE: this is also good for when you're not at breaking point as well).

The most important way to cope however, is to develop your own quirks. My suggestions may work yes (and my lists are by no means exhaustive) but I'm sure you have things that you do that may seem weird or funny but make you feel better or even perfect.. Love those things. And at the end of the day, remember nothing else that you're doing will ever work as well as you planned it to, if at the core of it all YOU are not feeling FABULOUS!!

Peace & luv girlies
-Keeta :)