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Learning to Let Go

Today was a day filled with bittersweet feelings. One of my besties, affectionately known as Meg Bunny, will be leaving today for school in Cuba for 7 years. While I wish her all the best, coupled with the fact that I feel an immense sense of pride that she achieved a full scholarship to study for her dream career, I felt sad at the same time.

As much as I have always been in situations where I have had to say goodbye, I've never been good at letting go. Especially when the person I had to let go was leaving for a long time to go somewhere far away. The day she told me she was leaving, I bawled *chuckle* (sometimes I'm a cryer) to the point where another friend who saw me thought someone close to me had died. I think I reacted the way I did because she has been a constant source of support and love for the last 8 months in particular and I started to think of the gap that would be there (made worse by the restrictions to free-flowing communication with Cuba). Then I saw this picture and I found it so funny and thought it ironic that it was 1. posted the same day I found out she was leaving and 2. the chipmunk and accompanying caption captured my feelings perfectly (plus he looked so cute). After looking at it for a while I felt much better and decided that while I would still be sad that she would be leaving, being overcome with sadness would not be where I would leave things for the time she had left in Jamaica. Over the weeks to follow, I made the effort to talk to her at least once a day, spend extra time with her and other friends, simply to appreciate her a little bit more. And as much as I thought I would cry again yesterday when I saw her for what would be the last time in a long while, and today when she finally said "Bye", I didn't. I realized that doing the extra things helped me learn to let go. So even though I'm sure I will probably have a reaction comprising violent bawling and sadness when next I have to face something like that, I think I've figured out a way to cope effectively (maybe one day I wont cry at all) because this time it's all for the best, so it won't be so bad letting go.

Peace & Luv

-Keeta :)

The Birthday(s) of your life

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September is a very special month to me. My birthday!!! Birthdays are a special time when you, your friends and loved ones celebrate another year that you have been blessed with life. Since my 19th birthday I have increasingly taken to thinking back to the years that have passed. And this year more so that any year thinking of when I was little and the birthdays I had and how my parents made me feel like I was the only little girl that would ever matter in the world. One of the thoughts that followed was not about me, but about someone who has never experienced that.

One of my friends did not know what it was like to have that feeling. Her birthday is close to mine and instead of focusing on what would happen on mine (because I have some friends that always scheme to do something anyway. Love them to pieces) I decided to do some scheming of my own for her. I co-schemed with a friend and we decided to have a picnic for her. Surprise of course (those are the best) at one of her favourite gardens. It was the best thing to see someone who often forgets how special she is remember how amazing her friends think she is.

There is much power in simplicity. We didn't have a lot of $$ but our end result was very well-appreciated nevertheless. A sheet (for sitting), chocolate cupcakes with candles, finger food and a large bottle of juice for the picnic part; coupled with a small gift with a mixture of small, inexpensive but very useful, things in a favourite colour work very well for a gift. The most important thing is being reminded of how important you are.


Now for your own birthday, you don't need to wait on friends. There are little things you can do for yourself that make you feel like that extra million dollars:

For the entire week leading up to your birthday, plan a special outfit for each day and look extra smoking for those 7 days. Yes, this is your special time. If you don't have a lot of cash like the average college student (whether undergrad or postgrad), then there are a few inexpensive things that you can do to make yourself feel like the Queen you are (and you know I am all about the royalty-treatment).

If you can't afford a mani/pedi- Get a pumice stone for your feet, a sponge buffer for your nails, a new colour of nail-polish (pink always works :]) and do it yourself. If you get polish on the skin take a warm bath (after the nail polish has dried of course) and use a loofah/washcloth to gently rub the skin around the nail (hands and toes) to remove the extra polish. Professional look without the money. Rub a little olive oil around the nail after you dry off.

Wash your hair and do a little self-styling that will last for the week. Don't underestimate yourself, once it's not too complicated you can do a little self-styling if you're determined enough.

Wear a little shimmery shadow if you don't wear make-up everyday. If you do wear make-up, give it a little extra punch for the pre-birthdays.

Reminisce about the happy times of the years past. It's even more worth it when you appreciate the happy things and times of when you were younger.

On the day of your birthday, let NOTHING spoil your day. You go through the regular routine every other day of the year so you owe it to yourself to have a perfect day. And even if something less than desired happens, the important thing is that you don't react negatively to it. Surround yourself with persons you love and who the day would not be the same without.

I wish you the very best birthday. Each year is a blessing and in spite of any unfavourable things that have happened in the year, they only make the good times much more special. And because September and October are special months for me and mine an extra special "Happy Birthday" to those persons. Many happy returns.

Peace & Luv
-Keeta :)

A wish for you! Weekend Cookie :)

Have a great day!!

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& an even better weekend!!

Peace & Luv
-Keeta :)

What is Bliss?

I saw this a little earlier tonite and thought it was so cute. Esp when I think of how excited I get about shiny things *smile*

Peace & Luv
-Keeta :)

Being the Bigger Person

Over the last few months, I have experienced numerous changes. One of which has led to the biggest change of all. Though I've been told it doesn't show very much, there is now more Keeta than there was prior to the stressful period (a year and a half ago). 40 lbs more. I bet you thought I meant something else when you read the title? *smile* No, I am simply referring to gaining weight. But the figurative meaning has something to do with this as well.

I gain weight in times of stress, like many other persons I'm sure. Comfort food is a friend, but tomorrow, you wont be feeling too comfortable about it. With the increased weight came increased sensitivity about same. Worse, in an image absorbed society (yes Jamaica is just as bad as the US) I had a lot to come to terms with. I felt very unlike myself for a long time and to make matters worse, the things I tried didn't seem to be helping much.

I remember watching this episode of "What Not to Wear", Stacy advised the makeover recipient to dress for the body she had. More importantly you need to love the body you have, even if it has gotten bigger or smaller and you may not be so happy with the changes. But guess what, I didn't change, just the outside. So I've learnt to appreciate the "bigger" me. So it has made it easier to adjust to the changes I was making.

I rediscovered a fabulous little thing, you have to accept things before changing them. Sounds like a paradox? It isn't. Accepting something as I refer to it here means simply seeing it for what it is. Once you do that, you can move on, make changes, make it better. I know that conventionally "accepting something" means that you come to terms with the way something is and it stays that way. Let's deconstruct what we've been taught for our entire lives. In keeping with that, accepting will mean simply a more intuitive understanding of the situation/thing in question.

So I've accepted the changes (and in the meantime I'm still fab) and I'm making Keeta better. Come on girlies, you can do the same. Let's GO!!!!!

Peace and luv
-Keeta :)

Being the Browning

For most of us who are familiar with Jamaican culture, you are aware of the infamous "Browning". Some kind of seasoning (yes, but that's not what I'm referring to here), some chocolate creation (nope), simply the mixed girl.



In Jamaica there are people who go to all kinds of drastic means to become the so-called fabulous browning. This has led to not only academics having a field day hypothesizing and theorizing about the motivations behind this, but singers and DJs enshrining the browning in the lyrics of dancehall and reggae.

Now I have always wondered about this. Why the fuss? I am but a product of one whole heap a mix up. Being this browning brought with it unwanted attention (at times very creepy) from the opposite sex, misconceptions about my class/status and personality from others. Why though? Darker girls are just as fascinating. But now I have grown to appreciate the other aspects of my mix-up self and the accompanying contradictions that go with it.

A girl who:

1. Loves being neat to the point of obsessive compulsion but who hates to clean.

2. Is extroverted about almost everything not directly related to herself but who is shy and modest at times just the same.

3. Is loud and gaudy with my likes of overly bright colours worse when paired with animal prints but loves clean lines and the style of Grace Kelly.

4. Is a little raunchy like Lil Kim (in her rap days) but in the same breath a subtler sexy like Estelle.

5. Is a workaholic who procrastinates.

6. The girly-girl (pink, puffs and cute) but sports, dirt and grit get me going sometimes too.

And I could go on. But here's the thing with my contradictions, they fit perfectly in the mix up shell of the Browning's body. And if it's one thing I love (as much as I may have a burning need for meticulous order) it's not being put into the proverbial box. So now instead of wishing "Lord, couldnt this browning thing just go away?" I have decided to embrace all that comes with it. Best part I am a legendary part (if you will, Lol) of island culture. Who wouldn't love that?

So to all my Brownings, BIG UP YUHSELF! You're special too.

-Peace & Love,

Keeta :)

ABCs of the Browning

I saw one of these random question things on my friend's blog but it was organized by alphabet and I thought "Hmmm.....I like the arrangement. I think I'll do it". So below find the ABCs of the Browning. And after you read copy and paste your own answers in a comment. I would love to get a peek into my readers' minds as well. Enjoy!

A
- Available: technically, no (won't say a word more about it *wink)
- Age: 22 years
- Annoyance: bad grammar
- Animal: cat (meow)
B
- Beer: No. Cocktail- "Brown Skin Gyal" @ East Japanese Restaurant
- Birthdays: September 19 1986
- Best Friend: Pig, Morgy, Kodi, Kristen
- Blind or Deaf: Neither (thank God).
- Best weather: Sunny days. Even better on Sunday mornings in Mandeville :)
- Been in Love: Mmhmm. It's amazing
- Believe in Magic?: Yes. @ times I float
- Believe in Santa: anyone who gives me PRESENTS!! Lol

C
- Candy: Ferrero Rocher.......Mmmmmmm.
- Color: PINK PINK PINK PINK PINK PINK!!!!!!!
- Chocolate/vanilla: CHOCOLATE!
- Chinese/Mexican Food: Neither. Mommy's cooking
- Cake or pie: Both. I heart a good chocolate/cheesecake tho
- Continent to visit: Europe and Australia
- Cheese: Gimme that cheddar. Lol. Oh yeh and goat cheese (yum)

D

- Day or Night: Depends on who I'm with :)
- Dancing in the rain: Yuh want me catch cold? Lol

E
- Eyes: Hershey Brown
- Ever failed a class: Never. Maybe a test some time in the very distant past.

F
- First thoughts waking up: Is the cable working? Why won't that turtle keep quiet?
- Food: Sushi, pizza, anything with cheese, chocolate, PORK!

G
- Greatest fear: Roaches. Phobia not fear
- Goals: A cosmopolitan/ hippie-on-the-weekend lifestyle with my dark-skinned Adonis husband. Lol. JK. Successful, peaceful life with family and friends close by.
- Gum: Bubblicious Original. Like it for as long as the flavour lasts.
- Get along with your parents: Yep

H
- Hair Color: Chestnut gold
- Height: 5"7
- Happy: Usually
- Holiday: Christmas
- How do you want to die: In my sleep when I'm 90 with my hubby beside me

I
- Ice Cream: Chocolate or mocha
- Instrument: The pen/keyboard. My words are my music

J
- Jewelry: Big and bold with lots of colours. Love my gold heart pendant I received for my 12th birthday
- Job: A whole bunch right now. I guess researcher more than anything.Lol

K
- Kids: Nope
- Kickboxing or karate: Thinking of trying kick-boxing
- Keep a journal: Yep. Sporadic with the entries though.

L
- Love: the best feeling.
- Laughed so hard you cried: Of course. Esp. when I'm around Morgy, Kodak and Nella

M
- Milk flavor: Almond
- Movies: Chick flicks
- Motion sickness: Nope
- McD’s or BK: Neither.

N
- Number: 19

O
- One wish: To see Mommy get the stuff she wants.

P
- Pepsi/Coke: Neither. Angostura Lemon/Lime Bitters
- Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni, bacon and extra cheese

Q
- Question: When?

R
- Reality T.V.: ANTM, HGTV Design Star, any fashion-based reality shows and almost anything MTV produces
- Radio Station: Fame 95
- Roll your tongue in a circle: Mmhmm
- Ring size: 7.5-8

S
- Song: Marvin Gaye "I want you" (*grin*)
- Shoe size: 10
- Salad Dressing: Blue cheese
- Sushi: Tuna at the Mayfair.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Both. Strawberries with chocolate definitely :)

T
- Tattoos: Panda (in the near future)
- Time for bed: Lately anytime after 9. It varies

U
- Unpredictable: changes

V
- Vacation spot(s): Treasure Beach

W
- Weakness: Anything chocolate and Super Mario
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you? Hmmmm.........all of them have a little of me
- Worst feeling: Being worried
- Worst Weather: Unbearable heat.

X
- X-Rays: A lot. Cant even remember all the codes/names of them. Lol

Y
- Year it is now: 2009 baby!
- Yellow: Is nice. PINK is better :)

Z
- Zoo animal: Iguana. They are the nicest lizards.